The concept of 'continuing bonds' involves an individual experiencing ongoing internal connection with the deceased, rather than cutting bonds and 'moving on' (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 2016). This relationship might be maintained by conversations, dreams, or the belief that the deceased person is somehow still present. A continuing bond is not static - it can shift and evolve over time.
1. What examples of 'continuing bonds' have you experienced yourself or seen in others?
2. How might these relationships be helpful to an individual's growth and development?
3. How might they hinder development?
.
1. What examples of 'continuing bonds' have you experienced yourself or seen in others?
My brother often dreams about his pet cat that passed away a couple of years ago, and we often reminisce and engage in conversations about him
2. How might these relationships be helpful to an individual's growth and development?
It provides an outlet to acknowledge the importance of an individual in someone's life, and face their own mortality
3. How might they hinder development?
If the grief has not been resolved, it can hinder development as it is lacking the acknowledgement of their passing
.
1. I have gone to readings, I talk to my loved ones who have passed, and I know they are not just gone.
2. They will have a better view of death and grieve better.
3. If it were a romantic relationship, it may hinder their ability to move on.
1. What examples of 'continuing bonds' have you experienced yourself or seen in others?
I have particularly seen this in my children when they lost their grandmother, especially my eldest girl of 11yrs old. She has photographs or her grandmother and often refers to them, often talks about gifts she received from her grandmother that she now treasures, we also have a lot of her grandmother's furniture and household items, treasured things so it reminds them a lot of their grandmother and it comes up often in conversation.
2. How might these relationships be helpful to an individual's growth and development?
I think it can be a lovely way to carrying on love, remembrance and conversations about that loved one, keeping parts of them with you, continuing their presence. It can show how others may carry on their relationship with you once you pass. It provides sadness but it also provides that continued bond.
3. How might they hinder development?
Maybe if the person is struggling to move on their with life.
Two weeks after my Dad died I was having an emergency c-section, the song that was playing on the radio in the surgery room was the song we chose for his funeral. It felt like he was there with me.
I think these relationships can be very healthy in their spontonaity, a reminder of a connection if seen in a postitive light. Although if a person is constantly looking to find a connection I think this can hold some people back from accepting their new now.
The night before my mum died, her garden filled with monarch butterflies. When we carried her coffin out, one butterfly hovered above her. Now, whenever I see a monarch butterfly up close, I hold onto the comforting thought that it’s mum visiting. This small connection eased my pain and let me grieve at my own pace.
Sometimes, though, the desire to keep the deceased close, wanting signs, spending tons of money on clairvoyants or visiting gravesites daily... can make it hard to accept they’re gone or to continue living fully. Holding on is important, but unrealistic expectations might hinder healing.
1. What examples of 'continuing bonds' have you experienced yourself or seen in others?
I hold a continuing bond with my mum. I often speak with her and see what I perceive as signs that she is watching over me.
2. How might these relationships be helpful to an individual's growth and development?
It has helped me immensely with the sudden and traumatic loss of her, the infiniteness of her not being here in the physical. My continuing bond with my mum has been a bridge to my deepening sense of spirituality, which in turn helps strengthen my understanding and acceptance of not only my own death but the death of other loved ones. Just not my kids!
3. How might they hinder development?
I think like all things, there needs to be moderation. If someone is living their life for the passed-over loved one and not for themselves, I can see how it could become harmful. They might turn away from experiences or take part in different aspects of life in fear of going against what they believe is their loved one's wishes.
.
My aunty lost her youngest son in a diving accident 7 yrs ago tomorrow, and around when it happened we talked about her feeling Zac while she is in her garden, we even talked about this golden retriever that started coming onto her large property and hanging around her, which we light heartedly joked about the dog being Zac. It really did feel comforting, suggesting that Zacs spirit was somehow out in the garden with her. Next time I see her id like to ask her if she still feels him around, I am sure she does, and I am sure its helped her grieving process.
1. What examples of 'continuing bonds' have you experienced yourself or seen in others? I was very close to my grandparents, in particular my nan, she was amazing. I remember many of the things that we did together vividly, even though she died 31 years ago. I often share these special memories with my children as an insight to my upbringing and the warmth that comes from them.
2. How might these relationships be helpful to an individual's growth and development? By reminiscing about some of our routines and the fun times from my upbringing, or sharing the stories that my grandparents shared with me, comes a lot of comfort.
3. How might they hinder development? I think sometimes people may become fixated on the bonds that they had or embellish the memories, which could lead to the inability to share of form genuine relationships with others.
1. After my dad died, I noticed very personal synchronicities etc, I also had conversations with him in my head and felt that he was around me for a while after his death.
2. It was really helpful to me to feel his presence, that although he wasn't in the physical form anymore, I was still connected to him in some way. I think this can be really helpful to cope with the death of a loved one.
3. It could hinder development by keeping a person from fully processing their grief and might keep them stuck or unable to fully come to terms with the loss and the letting go.
.
x
.
1. What examples of 'continuing bonds' have you experienced yourself or seen in others?
The passing of my mother. We were estranged when she passed away and still now I deal with the fact that I as the surviving member of the relationship have to make sense of it and learn how to heal
2. How might these relationships be helpful to an individual's growth and development?
They can help because you can work through it at your own pace and it can help you understand priorities in life, what's important and what actually matters to you in a relationship. You can also learn a lot about forgiveness
3. How might they hinder development?
It's extremely difficult to navigate a feeling like this because of the myriad of other emotions that can come in and affect the feelings like guilt which can slow down the process of acceptance
i loss my dad at 14, and i feel as though have a continuing bond with him. i have accepted and moved on but he still remains a big part of my "why"
it is helpful to have peace after grieving a loved one and keeping their memory alive
it may hinder development if the person is obsessed with this idea and acts as though they have not died
.